5475-days thanks to my first panic attack, I wish I had known what’s going to happen. And what happened was 15 years of hell. In other words, my first panic attack transformed into a panic disorder. Even though I have already overcome it 3-years ago or so when I’m thinking back to the first day, it inspires me to think about: “What I wish I had known after I suffered my first panic attack?” It is what this article is all about.
I wish I had known what was it last night
You would call it, “Hey Gabor, that was just your first panic attack.” That time the only reason I wouldn’t argue with anyone is that I was happy to be alive as I thought. But there’s no doubt about that: it was my first panic attack, although that particular evening, I did not know what happened to me at all.
I knew though that I never want to experience anything close to that dreadful and death-frightening incident that today everybody calls as one’s first panic attack. The last thing that I wanted from that moment was to experience a panic attack ever again in my life. I was scared a lot about the panic, but somewhat from that night, I was hopeful too, as it might not happen to me ever again.
As you can expect, it was a capital error to hope that my first panic attack was simultaneously the last one too. The truth is that I suffered the final panic attack after 5475 days later. And that is a damn 15 years. Including almost a thousand such occasions when I was near to believe in, that I was going to die.
But. I survived all and a little more then three years ago, I overcame the panic disorder. Today, I don’t suffer panic attacks anymore. I have become panic free.
To stay safe after my first panic attack
As I mentioned earlier, the last thing I was looking for was a repetition of my first panic attack experience. I wish I had known that time that it is wrong to seek the way to be as far from the panic as humanly possible. There was no way to know that. I worried myself to sick to avoid the next one.
See? It’s strange enough, but as I’m writing, this realized that it’s still in me how much I was expecting another panic attack. And I also am realizing that what is the meaning the Fear of God? Well, the more you fear something, the more presence you give it. And it is God in this particular example. But that time, my intense fear of the next one manifested the proclivity for a second panic attack to happen. And that precisely what’s happened.
I wish I had known that fear has the power to manifest what you’re afraid of it. But I didn’t know, of course. On the other hand, what’s essential that I do know it now. On my hard lesson, hopefully, you know as well.
Instead of staying safe, I recommend to take it as a warning to change your life immediately. I believe if I had done a change in my life for a much better direction, I would have been able to avoid the 5475 days panic.
I didn’t know I could survive a panic attack
The first panic attack indicated me to feel happy about the fact that I survived that horrifying experience. It was a dreadful half an hour. Plus, the shaking legs and arms took me another hour to fall back asleep.
The following day my mind got so busy thinking and thinking about what happened to me. I wish I had known that not just your first panic attack but all of your deadly-looking panic attacks are not deadly. But I didn’t know that.
Not too long ago, I found the Schachter-Singer theory, which is a classic psychological experiment. It showed me that it was only my choice or my take away from that particular first panic attack night only. It was only my subjective realization, and I was utterly wrong (well, it only took me 15-years after).
I wish I had known what my first panic attack wanted to teach me
I didn’t get it, unfortunately. On the other hand, it seems very different from today’s point of view. In my coaching practice, I recommend to everybody to be the change as Gandhi’s beautiful quote suggests it.
I wish I had known what that panic attack wanted to tell me. If I understood that night that it was a warning that I was on a wrong life-road, I perhaps would be the change of my own life the panic-following day onwards.
If I had the ear to listen carefully to what my first panic attack attempted to understand my life, but unfortunately, I did not have it at that time. If I knew that my life-path was a road to hell, then perhaps I understood what my first panic attack tried to teach me.
If you’d like to know what your panic attacks want to teach you, I’m here to help you. Click here to go to the contact page and get more information about what the PANIC coaching option would work best for you.
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